Today marks five years of marriage for Breanne and me. Five years of a Type-A and a Type-B personality somehow making a relationship work. I’ll let you guess which is which. Five years is a milestone anniversary. It’s the anniversary you talk about when you first get married. And that conversation often includes wanting kids by the fifth year of marriage. But things don’t always work out the way you planned.
By now, you are all familiar with our infertility story. Breanne has such an incredible talent for telling stories and being able to put our struggle into words. So I want to take a minute to brag on her a little bit. Let me start out by saying that my wife is a rock star. It’s no secret to her close friends and family that she is a bit of a hypochondriac. I can’t count the number of late night “heart attacks” that have turned out to be a little indigestion or the brain tumors she has survived (headaches). But when it comes to our infertility journey, she has shown more strength and courage than I knew she had in her. When her OBGYN told her that she might need surgery to confirm her Endometriosis diagnosis, she responded with “Sounds good – how soon can we schedule it?” She has endured countless uncomfortable procedures, injections, and monitoring appointments without batting an eye. She’s been in stirrups more often than John Wayne. The most difficult thing I have had to endure involved a sterile cup and a dimmly lit room at the doctor’s office. So after five years of marriage, I can definitively say that my wife is so much braver than I ever could hope to be.
It’s no secret that this has been a tough year. We’ve seen more than our fair share of negative pregnancy tests and have been through three failed IUI cycles and an unsuccessful round of IVF. And the worst part for me is that there’s nothing I can do to make things better. We guys always want to fix things (Breanne would point to our garage door that’s been broken for the past three months and roll her eyes at that comment, but that’s beside the point). But if there is a silver lining in this cloud of infertility, it’s that we have grown so much closer as a couple over the past year. When you go through a difficult time as a couple, you have two options. You can either let it tear you apart, or you can find strength in each other. We chose the latter.
So hopefully in another five years, we can look back on this difficult time and be thankful for this journey. Thankful for how much it has strengthened our relationship with each other and with God. And hopefully how much it has made us appreciate our beautiful children. So happy 5th anniversary, Breanne – hopefully our next 5 are the best yet!