We have been actively trying to conceive since 2014, but our infertility stretches back further than that. For months which lead to years, we kept our infertility on a shelf, not wanting to admit that we may have a problem. We kept using excuses like, “Maybe our timing isn’t just right,” even though the multitude of ovulation predictor kits and my phone app said otherwise. People around us were getting pregnant on purpose and by accident left and right. Or so it seemed.
Finally, we went to see my OB-gyn in 2015. Since we were having trouble conceiving, and especially because I had been suffering from severe and sometimes crippling period pains for 15 years, she performed a laparoscopy to confirm endometriosis, gauge the degree, and see if my fallopian tubes were blocked. The endometriosis was definitely there, but luckily my tubes weren’t blocked.
We began seeing a Reproductive Endocrinologist in November 2015. For two months, we continued to try the good ole fashioned way with the help of Letrizole (also known as Femara) for follicle stimulation.
Two months later, when the good ole fashioned way failed us, we underwent three rounds of IUI (intrauterine insemination) in February, March, and April. I continued taking Letrizole to stimulate follicle growth and egg development during all three rounds. Three months, three negatives. So we scheduled our first round of IVF (invitro fertilization).
After almost two weeks of daily injections for follicle stimulation, my doctor retrieved 10 eggs from my ovaries. That afternoon, they were fertilized (with Brennen’s troops) in the lab. Nine of the ten eggs successfully fertilized and began to grow into embryos. Five days later, a blastocyst that was part me and part Brennen was transferred into my uterus. Then came the two week wait. During that time, we found out that the other eight embryos had difficulty developing so they didn’t survive. The one little embryo inside me was our only shot.
On July 6th, we got the terrible news that our blastocyst didn’t develop into the Baby H we had hoped for. IVF had failed us.
In a nutshell, we didn’t make good embryos. Why? Maybe because I didn’t produce good eggs. Why? Maybe I just have bad eggs. Maybe I have bad eggs because of my endometriosis. There are a lot of why’s and even more maybe’s. All we know is baby making can be hard!
What’s next for us? We’re still figuring that out. We have appointments scheduled to gather more opinions on our case and look deeper into how endometriosis may be affecting our fertility. Most importantly, we aren’t letting these past failures discourage us. More like, we can’t.
When we first shared the news of our failed IVF cycle on Facebook, I think Brennen put it best when he said, “While this news is difficult to hear, we aren’t disheartened. Thank you for allowing us to share our story with you. Although much of our story is yet to be written, we know it will have a happy ending.”