Last time you heard from Breanne, we were on our way to Memphis for an unexpected surgery last week. As my mother-in-law reminds us, “Y’all can’t do anything easy.” So after work last Wednesday, the “crew” (Breanne, her mom Connie, her sister Caitlin, and me) loaded up the car and headed North. Connie wanted to come along because her daughter was going under anesthesia. Understandable. Caitlin…well…she said she was just there for the barbecue. As we headed up I-55, Breanne pulled the surgery card and convinced us to make an impromptu trip to IKEA. Sorry, Cait, but the barbecue would have to wait.
Let me preface this by saying that none of us had ever been to an IKEA, so when we pulled into a parking lot that reminded me of Wal-Mart on steroids, I knew I was in trouble. The next hour and a half were a blur, but I have to admit – IKEA was pretty impressive. And Breanne was right at home. I have a feeling we may be taking a U-Haul with us to Memphis when we come back up for the next transfer. After a quick stop at Central BBQ, we finally made it to the hotel. Then, I had to turn around and go get some nail polish remover from Target. Breanne said she didn’t need nail polish on in case the doctor needed to check her circulation by pressing on her fingernails or something. Even though I was convinced this was something my hypochondriac wife picked up on Grey’s Anatomy, I made the late-night trip to Target trying to look as unmurdery as possible as I paced through the nail care section.
We arrived at the surgery center early Thursday morning. After prepping Breanne for surgery, Dr. Memphis called me in to see her one more time before heading to the operating room and to discuss the procedure with us. In short, Doc was going to perform a laparoscopy to remove the two cysts seen on her right ovary at her ultrasound the week before and burn off any endometriosis tissue that had appeared since her last surgery in 2015. Then, he would do a hysteroscopy to remove the mass in her uterus, which he figured was a blood clot or leftover products of conception. He then took the time to discuss with us our next transfer, showing us pictures of our frozen embryos. Every visit with our doctor reminds us that we made the right call by coming to Memphis. He’s always so straight forward and open with us. Once we finished our talk with the doctor, she gave me an awkward “we don’t kiss in public” peck on the lips, and they wheeled her off.
About an hour and a half later, we got the call that the procedure was a success! Evidently her two nasty cysts had resolved themselves, so no need to remove them. The doctor also reported minimal endometriosis and only had to burn off a few new spots. More great news! It gets better. The mass in her uterus was leftover products of conception, which he easily removed with no major bleeding. Now all we had to do was wait for Breanne to pee before he would discharge her. Or so we thought.
As she made her second attempt to use the bathroom, Breanne noticed a hard knot forming under one of her incisions. The doctor was worried she might be bleeding into her abdomen. Again, “Y’all can’t do anything easy.” They rushed her upstairs for an ultrasound. If it was just under the skin, it would probably resolve itself, but if it was leaking into her abdomen, another surgery would be necessary. Son a b*****.
On the elevator ride up for the ultrasound, Doc commented on how pale Breanne was looking and grew concerned. “Is she always this pale?” he asked. Connie and I both nodded, which got an anesthesia-labored eye roll out of Breanne. Then as the doctor pinched her unpolished fingertips, I could feel her giving me an “I told you so” face.
We finally made it to the ultrasound room. Good news – the bleeding was superficial! Whew! No additional procedures needed. On our way back downstairs, the Memphis team wheeled Breanne through the fertility clinic’s waiting room. As Breanne rolled through, pale and under a blanket with an IV bag hanging from the back of her wheel chair and a team of medical professionals by her side, I couldn’t help but notice the faces of the couples in the room. I could feel them thinking, “What in the hell have we gotten ourselves into???”
After a few more minutes of monitoring and finally a successful pee, the doctor gave us permission to head back home. There was no angry tweeting at C-Spire on this ride home (unlike the post-retrieval ride), but there was a very low tolerance for stupid, as she so lovingly put it. The nurse sent us home with a basin in case Breanne got sick. As we pull into the neighborhood, Breanne says, “Bring the basin inside and put it by the bed for the night.” I responded, “Oh, in case you get sick?” She glanced at me with that go-to-hell look that she has perfected over the last 29 years and said, “No, Brennen, in case I wake up in the middle of the night and decide to wear it as a hat.” For better or for worse, right?
Breanne’s recovery is going well. She’s still sore but getting better (and happier) every day. Now, we wait for her next cycle to start in 4 to 6 weeks so we can begin preparations for FET #2. Until then, we’ll have our Disney trip to keep us occupied along with the to-do list Breanne created on post-op day 3 titled “The Spring Purge.” Prayers…